love

Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armour, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like maybe we should just be friends turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

-unknown-

despair not, for

We must remember that the future is neither wholly ours nor wholly not ours, so that neither must we count upon it as quite certain to come, nor despair of it as quite certain not to come.


Epicurus, Letter to Menouceus

god loves ugly

i wear my scars like the rings on a pimp

i live life like the captain of a sinking ship
the one thing that i can guarantee
i'm like a stepping razor, i suggest you stay fair with me
been payin dues for a decade plus,
before that i was just another face on the bus
tappin my foot, to the beat on the radio
dreamin 'bout the mic and the money and the ladies
oh mom, i promise im gonna be large
someday im gonna stop tryin to borrow your car
gonna go far, with charisma and skill
until they put my face on a million dollar bill
atmosphere, its just a ten letter word
discretion is the name of my cement-feathered bird
and if you didnt hear, fuck whatevers heard
i think you got the sickness i suggest you get it cured
caught up in the mix, of a bottle full of fix
im gonna hobble down the street 'til i reach knob creek
its not that i dont like you, i just dont wanna speak
you fuckin freak
now keep your days out my week
the world keeps a balance, through mathematics
defined by whatever youve added and subtracted
im pushin on the hammer, to trigger the brain
embrace how i live it, god loves ugly

chorus

god loves ugly...

once upon a time in minneapolis, yo
i damn near had to steal the show
i stepped on the stage, who is it?
my names slug ive come to kill a couple minutes
whats up with the way, that everybody gathers around each other
so they can steal each others sound
if its all about gettin down with the get down
how long i gotta wait for these fools to sit down?
appears more clear in its simplest form
nobody sees tears when youre standing in a storm
abandoning the norm, and handling the harvest
measuring the worth by the depth of the hardships
i welcome all the hatred you can aim at my name
i held on to the sacred ways of how to play the game
when the soldiers started runnin short on rations
i began tappin the egg, to spark the hatchin
make it happen
and take this captain to the gallows
i keep steerin us into an area thats shallow
talkin to my shadow, he advised me not to worry
he said i should plant my tree and let it rise out of the fury
so give me some light, a little love and some liquid
im gonna creep through the night
and put a plug in the spigot
and when the water grows
and the dam starts to overflow
ill float atop the flood, holding on to my ugly

chorus

why scream, when you can lose yourself inside the wide-screen
let life be a bowl of melted ice cream
or be the deer thats caught in my high beams
im rollin with the lights on, scared stiff
reality is just too much to bear with
paranoid, walkin around careless
no wonder youre in love with your therapist
go to sleep my little time bomb

Sonnet XVII para Pablo Neruda

No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
echa de claveles que propagan el fuego:
te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras,
ecretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.

Te amo como la planta que no florece y lleva
dentro de sí, escondida, la luz de aquellas flores,
y gracias a tu amor vive oscuro en mi cuerpo
el apretado aroma que ascendió de la tierra.

Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo:
así te amo porque no sé amar de otra manera,

sino así de este modo en que no soy ni eres,
tan cerca que tu mano sobre mi pecho es mía,
tan cerca que se cierran tus ojos con mi sueño.


-----------------------------------------------------


Je ne t'aime pas comme rose de sel, ni topaze
Ni comme flèche d'oeillets propageant le feu:
Je t'aime comme l'on aime certaines choses obscures,
De façon secrète, entre l'ombre et l'âme.

Je t'aime comme la plante qui ne fleurit pas
Et porte en soi, cachée, la lumière de ces fleurs,
Et grâce à ton amour dans mon corps vit l'arôme
Obscur et concentré montant de la terre.

Je t'aime sans savoir comment, ni quand, ni d'où,
Je t'aime directement sans problèmes ni orgueil:
Je t'aime ainsi car je ne sais aimer autrement,

Si ce n'est de cette façon sans être ni toi ni moi,
Aussi près que ta main sur ma poitrine est la mienne,
Aussi près que tes yeux se ferment sur mon rêve.


----------------------------------------------------------


I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will

What I want is to be needed. What
I need is to be indispensable to somebody.
Who I need is somebody that will eat up
all my free time, my ego, my attention.
Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

- Chuck Palahniuk -

We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens

“If you don’t know what you want,
 you end up with a lot you don’t”
 - Chuck Palahniuk -

You better not get tired of Chuck. Because I'm not.
And if there is ANYONE out there who reads this,
my goodness. I would not want them to stop.

The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly

He who would learn to fly one day must
 first learn to stand and walk and run and
climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying

-Friedrich Nietszche

Chuck Palahniuk

“If death meant just leaving the stage
long enough to change costume and
come back as a new character...
Would you slow down? Or speed up?”