Intoxicating and complicated / I miss you

If we lived in paradise, where would we go on holidays?

My biggest problem in making a decision in May of 2010.

"Maybe people have to really suffer 

before they can risk doing what they love"

-- Peter Wilmot, "Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk

Maybe I'm not allowed to do anything important yet. Maybe I won't be able to do anything with real love yet.

How do I learn to suffer? Everything is a lesson is it not? Every problem comes with a gift in its hands?