pre-emptive

i had a terrible dream.

i awoke to begin crying.

i dreamt that someone close to me told me that she would die soon.

Unprepared, I grieved and grieved for what was going to come.

It scared me so much, that all my dreams and aspirations left in a heartbeat, and I soon vowed that I would spend all my remaining time with her, cherishing every moment ...

Less than half an hour later, I realized life was much longer than I could imagine.

If you spend your remaining years (as a 21 year old) with a healthy middle-aged woman, soon you will be the middle-aged woman.

I realized later truly that I needn't pre-mourn a loss of someone. The important thing to realize is that fear of death is the true enemy. Fearing a loss of someone made me drop all my hopes and dreams like I had nothing left to live for. But we have everything to live for, every day.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die tomorrow, for la vida son suenos, y los suenos, suenos son.

10 Easy Steps (to Happiness)

1. Watch the sunset.
2. Meditate with someone you trust.
3. Walk in the woods.
4. Breathe. Deep gulps into your belly.
5. Drink water.
6. Treat yourself to a good book. (Find somewhere quiet to read)
7. Spend time with someone young.
8. Spend time with someone old.
9. Remember that everyone has something to teach.
10. Explore. Even if it's your own backyard.

If you can't do at least 50% of this everyday, you need to refocus and stimulate your life

F(alse) E(vidence) A(ppearing) R(eal)

Imagine life as a game in which you
are juggling five balls in the air.
You name them:

- work, family, health, friends & spirit -

and you're keeping all of these in the air.
You will soon understand
that work is a rubber ball.
If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other four balls

- family, health, friends & spirit-

are made of glass.
If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed,
marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered.
They will never be the same.
You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.


-unknown-

fama nihil est celerius

cogito, ergo sum

ceasing to think i cease to be

eliminated;

you, and me we are the only ones left.

i exist in your observation. you cease to think, cease to exist

i an empty shell traverses

mindlessly

one year ago ...

I can’t bring myself to write what you wanna hear

all I got is these tired eyes waiting for a tick of time that says
it’s too late. Fate will mistake my fear for sheer brevity and
wit, I’ll pull through quick as tape wrapped tight on
Christmas presents wrapped on Christmas eve night -
I just can’t write these lies I wanna believe
this other set of one thousand words of pure deeds
and five hundred words of commitment and save the world
I know that’s me, but it’s not
It’s not me. My belly’s full of hypocrisy
I melt with delight every night I suck that delicious sin in
and you know it. Shit.

I’ll save those beings who deserve to live,
like me they deserve to see and give life and be but
we’re all just seeds in this field of living
and what’s one more life when it’s giving to me
pleasure together we live on as one
and I really don’t see it as sin that I’ve done
But turn it around and pin me to the ground
Would I die for you? Would you shock me into a painful
lapse and carve me into a delicious snack of sin
that really doesn’t taste good within when you begin to
realise those nutrients helping you see with those eyes
were once mine, when I could see, from when I still
believed in these deeds of eliminating one creature at a
time for satisfaction of being my meal of a moment
I don’t think so.
So?

Can I push a couple decades of habit aside
So another city of starving can survive?
So our planet can stop choking itself?
So my body can start enjoying its wealth?
Can I shush those voices yelling inside telling me whatever
always making up lies? If I pull it together we’ll give rights
to the voiceless and maybe we’ll live on a diet
unprocessed and abolish the atrocities in our universal
unreality of people dying and politics lying and maybe
for once I won’t get sick of trying
We’ll succeed in defining the undefined
And rewinding our messed up minds
Start over in a place where all love and live
I think it starts with listening to what you‘ve given me.
School for the fool I never thought lived in me
I’m gonna write what I think cause at least it’s true.
And I’ll pull through this class of ideals no matter what I do.
Cause intents are good and this one’s for you

The breathing and the being

The devoted and loved

The ones who live simply

And the ones
who keep me warm at night
on a diet of delight and sin and
FUCK here I go again

I don’t know what’s happening to me I swear

I love the bees who make sweet honey and the rice patties
that fill my hungry soul all whole and pure and why
must I
eat only when others die?

Weightless

Don't you lose who you are every now and then?
I think those cracked cobble steps under your feet are straining from the weight that's on your mind ...

Me? I'm feeling weightless again -
don't see what i have left to gain

you think you understand, but no -
not til you let go of the hand you hold every time you cross the road
cause you'll float away then, and maybe like me,
you'll feel weightless again
and you'll have nothing left to gain
you all told me to meditate with you in a room full of people and my soul tore.
because i thought i was incapable.
i thought the ground was unescapable.

the brother i made
described it to me
and together we realised that neither of us
had seen through your eyes, or you, ours

unknowingly, our lives were what you sought
and the antonym of us was what you fought
to escape when you tried to meditate with thought
or without. and my doubt is cast out now

rambling about my body that's weightless again